Cushion the blow™

For delivery by Valentine’s Day 2019 – please place your order by Wednesday 6th and choose the fastest shipping option within your budget. We hand make every pillow to order, and quote a 2-5 day order processing time before your pillow ships out. However this year the weather has thrown us for a loop, slowing down orders to some USA destinations so… get your order in ASAP!

Ordering tip – choosing “Priority” shipping at checkout not only speeds up your shipping, but speeds up the production of your order too.

To send anonymously – check “gift” at checkout

To include a gift message – write your message in the “notes” section at checkout

Insults are a fine art. Less is more and if you can’t say it in 6 words, you’re probably just ranting.

Every Insulting Pillow is made to order. It takes our team 2 to 5 days to grudgingly cut, sew and print your pillow, plus whatever shipping time you choose.

Want to sell Insulting Pillows in your store? Contact us about wholesale pricing for retail sales, and we might consider it if you’re worthy.

It’s not like we need any more high-maintenance divas around here, but we might consider it if you pass our foul-mouth test. Contact us with a link to your work.

Your pillow cover can be machine washed at any temperature and it won’t affect quality. However we strongly recommend washing it separately, or at least with like colors, because the polyester fabric we use tends to make the cover colors run. In other words don’t put it in a hot wash with all your white shirts, dipshit, and don’t come crying to us if you do.

The polyester insert should be gently hand-washed only in cool water.

Every order is inspected for quality, however should you notice a quality issue with your order, please contact us immediately. Any claims for misprinted/damaged/defective items must be submitted within 7 days after receiving your order. For packages lost in transit, all claims must be submitted no later than 14 days after the estimated delivery date. Claims deemed an error on our part are covered at our expense.

Reasons for returns:

  • Returned by Customer – please contact us before returning any pillows. We do not refund orders for buyer’s remorse or time of the month.
  • Wrong Address – if you provide an address that is considered insufficient by the courier, the shipment will be returned to our facility. You will be liable for reshipment costs once we have confirmed an updated address with you.
  • Unclaimed – shipments that go unclaimed are returned to our facility and you will be liable for the cost of reshipment.

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